An Excerpt from the Book T.I.B.O.K

T.I.B.O.K (Heartbeat of the Filipino Lesbian) is a compilation of lesbian stories shared by some Filipinas made possible to become a book through Anna Leah Sarabia.

When I saw the book, I was really mesmerized and really wanted to buy it myself, the only problem I had that time was that, the book looks old and too expensive on the way it looks. I searched the web for the nearest bookstore in my hometown to see if there's another copy of this book in good condition. Sadly, the book I found in NBS was the only one.

While I was holding T.I.B.O.K., I was having a second thought, but realizing that it might be the last and final copy, I followed my urge to buy it. Now that I have done reading the book, I found out that being a Lesbian in the Philippines is really hard. Somehow, other culture may accept us, but not by our own countrymen. We are bound to follow the roots of where we came from. We must be who we are by the religion we are embracing.

With this book in my hand, I am really happy to find out that some have understanding family to accept and love them, no matter what. To still say, "this is my daughter, she's not a boy but she has a girlfriend and I am proud of her.". Another thing, I found it quite possible that gay marriage can really be done, and the relationship really last.

Something that caught my attention from the book was the letter entitled "Happy Birthday" written by Ging Misa. Here are some of the contents:

"So, what am I trying to tell you? I want to thank you for accepting and understanding me, especially during those times I wasn't very accepting of myself. Thank you for the unsolicited advice you gave me, time and time again, to help me strengthen my relationship with Mina.

I know that even once, you had questioned my sexual preference and maybe I will never know how you've managed to understand how I can love someone so strongly that I defy norms imposed by society. Mama, how did you do it? I guess the answer is simple - it's because you love me."

I really envy Ging for having such wonderful mother. I envy her for she was accepted for who she was. I envy her for she had came out as soon as she can because her mother's on her side. And most of all, I envy her for she knew who she was and accepted what she was despite of this very controversial and unaccepting country.

Another part of her letter was:

PS.

"Ma, you know how most people would say "many more birthdays to come"? Well I wish that for you, too. I addition to that, I want to wish for many more mothers (and fathers as well) like you who accept and try to help their daughters accepts themselves as lesbian."

 As I've read the letter, I didn't realized I was crying, so soft that I myself didn't even noticed the tears falling on my cheek. She was lucky, she really are. And I am happy for her, for them

There are plenty of good and fulfilling stories on the book but this one is my favorite. How I wished I could write a letter like this. 

I love myself, I have nothing to prove in this post. I am just giving my view about the book, about our society and about who I am. And still hoping that someday, Filipinos can open their hearts and accept this fast changing reality so we can all just move on, and moreover become a success.

We can never achieve our future plans when we're still holding on our past. Sometimes, letting go is better than holding on - specially when it has reached its END.